In today’s society, the media bombards us with mixed messages about food, weight and exercise. These conflicting messages, along with what our society dictates as ‘the perfect body’ are difficult for children to navigate.
Although it is important for all of us to eat healthily and exercise regularly, many of our children have unrealistic expectations about how they should look. When faced with conflicting societal pressures many children come to believe they are overweight and unattractive, regardless of their body size. Unfortunately, the shame these children feel is often reinforced by their peers.
Although it is important for all of us to eat healthily and exercise regularly, many of our children have unrealistic expectations about how they should look. When faced with conflicting societal pressures many children come to believe they are overweight and unattractive, regardless of their body size. Unfortunately, the shame these children feel is often reinforced by their peers.
· When a child begins asking the calorie content or fat content in foods she/he is eating
· Skipping meals
· Extreme self-criticism, saying their body is ‘gross, fat, disgusting, etc.”
· Moodiness, depression
· Refusing to join in at family meals, preferring to eat alone
· Weighing self often, on and off the scale
· Exercising excessively, or when sick or injured
· Dramatic change in weight, loss or gain
It is important to note that a child may only have one of these warning signs and still be in need of help. Children between the ages of nine and fourteen are particularly vulnerable. This is a pivotal time for promoting a positive sense of self and body confidence. It is also critical that parents understand that issues relating to food and body image are generally illustrative of some kind of emotional distress. Helping your child talk about feelings will help foster a positive relationship with her body.
Some tips to help your child talk about feelings:
- Remember, words like 'fat' , 'disgusting' and 'ugly' are not feeling words
- Try not to ask 'yes' or 'no' questions, but questions that elicit at least a sentence
- Try to just listen, instead of solve the problem
- Ask questions like, "what might be helpful right now?" or "what can I do to help you?"
- Remember, all 'feelings' are OK. Validate what your child says, without saying things like, "Oh, don't feel that way, you are such a great kid with so much going for you?"
©Rebecca Manley
